liar!

I am a first class liar and I tell lots of fibs

I’m really quite different to most other kids

I’m scared what will happen if I tell you the truth

Will you beat me, reject me or just hit the roof

Sometimes I truly believe my own version

And soon you’ll agree without much coercion

I’ll make you doubt what you see with your eyes

I’m a master deceiver with stories and lies

I feel like I’m evil, wicked and bad

I’m scared of the fallout and feel really sad

I’m trying to protect me and keep myself safe

And avoid that rejection I see in your face

I feel so alone and I’m drowning in shame

I quickly decide who else I can blame

It’s the only time I look into your eyes

To make you believe there’s truth in my lies

You often demand that I have to be honest

‘But it just wasn’t me’, I convincingly promise

I’ve not nicked the money you’ve found in my pocket

It fell out of sky from an overhead rocket

I say what I can keep you on side

I haven’t got morals and what the hell’s pride?

I just cannot link cause and effect

It’s part of my brain that hasn’t grown yet

While you continue to stand and debate

I’ve already decided on what is my fate

You’re going to tell me to go pack my stuff

I’m vile and disgusting and you’ve had enough

Before you reject me and tell me to leave

I’ve got another ACE up my sleeve

Like a roaring lion that’s escaped from it’s cage

I go on the attack with uncontrolled rage

I’m so full of fear that you’ll soon start to see

The hatred inside that I’ve got for me

The look on your face just confirms what I know

You really don’t love me and now I must go

My only hope is that that soon you will see

It’s all a result of what’s happened to me

It isn’t deliberate and it’s not about you

It’s a sad legacy from what I’ve been thru

You need to just state that you know it’s a lie

You know that I’m struggling and you’ll figure out why

Remind me you love me and I’ve got a good heart

Cos you’re very aware of my difficult start

Tell me I’m staying and I’m not moving on

Though you’re feeling quite sad with what I’ve done wrong

Keep the consequence natural or as near as can be

Or maybe it’s done more logically

Whatever it is, be sure to see

It’s bound up with nurture and real empathy

As I need to build pathways deep in my brain

To link cause and effect without too much pain

This all takes some time and is hard work for you

But the more that you do it, You’ll soon break through

To the small shattered heart that sits inside me

And the scared little child who needs a family

Then my lies will reduce as I build up the trust

That it’s not about me

It’s now about us

Written by Sarah Dillon ©

Founding Member of the National Association of Therapeutic Parents